It was a new dawn and the skies were looking peaceful as she drove to school. Samantha could not wait to see the strange little boy who had been in her class yesterday. She had so many questions for him. Therefore she kept rehearsing over and over again on how she was going to get the information she needed off him. She thought to be well-behaved, passionate and polite when with him. Although, her mixed feelings could not be suppressed during her drive to school.

Last night, when Samantha was combing her hair in the mirror, she hated her own reflection. The circles beneath her eyes had darkened with each night she stayed thinking. Lifelessly standing there staring at the mirror, her face showed anger and unhappy feelings. Her eyebrows were knitted together, eyes were angry with a mouth so mean. However, curiosity was what was mostly expressed on her face. She definitely was thinking and worrying about something, so much so that she was absent from the bathroom’s environment. When the anger etched on her face again, it changed into a dark-look with downcast-eyes. A slight depression was imminent. It was not long before she threw herself on the ground. The fall was as though she had plunged into deep waters, where her breath would not mean a thing.

The sound of “MAMA” from the boy’s lips had opened many wounds for the reason that she wanted to be a mother so badly, to be pregnant with a child. When several detours orchestrated by her doctors failed within seven years, she opted for an adoption, but Lucia would not have it. Lucia remained unconvinced by the idea and only wanted donor insemination instead. Last night, Samantha did not know if Lucia was what got the better part of her or the curiosity which encircled the strange boy.

Before she left home this morning, she saw Paul taking out the trash just as she was walking towards her Lexus. He did not wave at her and she did not mind. She knew it was a reaction from what had happened yesterday. The late afternoon before this morning, on arriving home, Paul was sitting in a deckchair on his lawn with both hands in his pockets, if possible at the same spot she had seen him standing earlier that morning. He waved at her with a smile on his face just as he did the previous morning, but this time around, tight-lipped unblinking Samantha ignores him, instead she slams the car door and front door as a response to his gesture.

She could not be bothered when she entered her home. Her eyebrows were curved together and eyes red underneath from the fact that she developed a headache on her way home from over-thinking about the little boy. She thought to tell Lucia but was unable to place her whereabouts. In spite of the fact that Samantha had missed a call from Lucia, it seemed as though Lucia was avoiding her.

Not a single thing mattered, not even her dreams. Overtime Samantha isolated herself in her home, cutting ties with her neighbours and did not speak much either to her close friends. She had distanced herself from others, slowly became reserved and groped with her words if she were to speak. Also, she was mostly cold, eyes in a daze and a dead smile if she was to turn the corners of her mouth upwards to expose her teeth. Her head was always somewhere else when she met with colleagues and family members. However, this was not the Samantha they knew. She was once cheerful, bright, amiable and determined, with a shine in her eyes whenever she smiled. But now she seemed unsure of herself.

On approaching, she found no vehicle in the parking-lot as she drove towards her designated slot. Looking at both sides of the parking area while driving was quite frightening. On getting to her spot, she brings the vehicle to a halt and turns off the engine, after reaching for her bag from the back seat and before shutting the door behind her. At this point, Samantha literally saw herself running through the school’s doorway. Her face was further lost in thoughts, worrying why she had not seen anyone yet, but was more anxious about not seeing the boy who had called her MAMA.

Farther down the school’s lobby, she again quickens her steps to her classroom, forgetting to check-in at the teacher’s worktop. Samantha was looking solemn, sweating and out-of-place. The wind had blown out her intricately tight coil coiffure into an untidy mess and the strap of her bag was hanging on her shirt collar amid trying to position the leather strip properly while she ran. Also, one of the tiny heel of her black sandal had given way during the sprint. It was impossible for her to have dealt with her untidy look since a desperate sadness had already enveloped her thoughts.

On getting to the entrance of her classroom, the door was locked.
“No! No! No!” was what she kept saying, refusing to leave the spot.

Her loud utterances follows with several strikes to the upper glass of the door and just as she raises her right palm to strike the door one more time, she pauses for a few seconds. While her thoughts went searching with tightly shut eyes, she remembered it was a public holiday today. The school was on a one week mid-term break.

“Holy cow!” was what she says with widely spaced eyes upon realisation.

In that instant, she felt weak and defeated, something definitely mattered this time around. Samantha then offers an unusual smile, one which says “I am not going to stay underwater anymore.” From the look of things she had decided to stay sane from henceforth, so as to be in a better mind frame when conversing with the boy.

She will have to wait for another week to find the answers which have kept her up all night. Unanswered questions that have made her query herself again into severe unhappiness.

X pj

To be continued next week friday….(Season1, Episode 5)