A marriage proposal is an event where a man in a relationship- in most cases- asks for the other’s hand in marriage. Since the world is currently much more open to different types of intimate relationships, I will initiate and conclude this article from the point of a man and a woman in a relationship that seems to be moving towards the next chapter called marriage. Therefore, if she accepts, it marks the initiation of an engagement, family and so on. If she declines, what does this mean? Aha!

So many wedding proposals, yet so little understanding about the whole idea. This post which is a listicle will focus mainly on the wrong beliefs of marriage proposals across the globe and also sprinkle in the “power of unity” women are entitled to but tend to disregard. If you sometimes cringe at some of todays wrong ideas of marriage proposals that have become constant, expected to be the case in the human mind, then this will be a good read.

1, Thank a man for accepting to marry a woman.

A man decides to ask a selected woman to marry him, but it is the woman that accepts him to be her husband! Therefore, do not thank a man for choosing you to be his wife, he should be the one to show gratitude, because you concluded his search and so on. Women forget all he did was to ask. We fail to remember that we have the final say. And if it is a “No”, he goes on to ask another woman or preferring instead to ask a man. For that whole “unity” to happen, it is up to her to agree to his proposal -the boss at the top kind of decision. A lot of women have lost the plot, this is why many are unaware of their inherent identification and powers.

My dear ladies, I am not saying you should assume a chip on your shoulders during proposals or be all bossed up into your marriage, I just want you to be aware of your place and to understand the situation better.

2, The size of the stone portrays the extent of his love.

Again, the size or amount of engagement rings does and must not be a reflection of how much he loves you.

Many people believe the ring more than the affection between a couple. This is so wrong. Having a few bucks to spare does not mean he loves her more. An expensive ring should be a choice and not a determinant. And women, imposing a certain type of ring does not speak well of your values. If it is not a selfless act from him, then it is totally not worth the push over. Which makes sense to apply?- a small diamond stone set on a gold ring to show genuine affection or a huge cubic zirconia stone on stainless steel mostly to attract envy. Who are you fooling. This already speaks of the kind of woman he would have to deal with for the rest of his life. Too bad for him!

Again I am not saying you do not deserve a huge rock. If the size of the ring is that important enough to spit fire, why are you marrying him then? This shows the both of you are not compatible and will probably disagree to so many other decisions ahead. Better still, buy your very own choice so as to find peace in the rain.

3, Proposals are done in spectacular sceneries.

This is for wives to be. This goes to say that he does not have to break the bank or his neck to organise the most romantic proposal scene for Instagram or to prove a point to your family members. If that is who he is then why not, but if he is not that kind of gentleman do not in displeasure chant about how he could have done better. The proposal environment should not necessarily be breathtaking so as to influence his future bride’s decision, for I am certain they will not pitch a tent on the very spot and live there happily ever after. Let love intervene for whatever you think are his shortcomings. Most certainly you too are far from perfect.

4, All women like public surprises.

An advise to the men. Some women hate surprises, and I mean regard’s disbelief with disgust.

Planning something romantic without her knowledge could leave a cold slap on your face or a dash towards the exit. Understand your girlfriend enough, so as not to go immoderate with proposal arrangements. She just might not be the “Awwww” type when it becomes her turn and this could leave your knees on the ground far too long than usual trying to explain why there are so many red balloons, when her favourite colour had just changed from red to white last month, and a handful will do and not the mess she bumped into.

5, She will give an answer in the moment.

Wanting to reach a conclusion after much consideration does not mean she loves you less. Hence, not getting an answer right away is very possible. People process things differently. Some need more time compared to others. It could also mean she was not ready or in shock at the time, when the question- WILL YOU MARRY ME- was asked. When such unthinkable situation springs, most people assume the worse when it should not be so. BRACE YOURSELF.

Anyway, ladies make sure, be double sure and be sure again before saying “yes”. And men, do not pressure her with those watery eyes and trembly legs into telling a lie. Better early than late to be sorry.

6, Proposal rejection is a disease.

Get in here boys! Getting an unfavourable answer does not insinuate the end of your life, you are less of a man or something must be wrong with you. A “yes” or “no” response are everyday life utterances from a point best known to the other party. Take it in faith and keep the search going.

And there is no point being offensive or cruel towards her, as she is allowed to make her own decision in the very same manner in which he decided to pick from a bunch, mainly for his personal reasons.

I hope this makes a lot of sense to you.
Happy new year.

X pj