Loyalty is what is mostly explained to mean friendship, but loyalty is not friendship. Friendship is not loyalty. Loyalty is an end-product of a good and lasting friendship. Therefore, loyalty is to be earned. It comes with a very high price, a price most people cannot afford. And when it is given either earned or not, it remains a choice that has an end, as no one can truly control behaviours or the course of events.
If friendship is solely based on allegiance, adherence, obedience, devotion, faithfulness and fealty, then it will not stand for long, as human beings are built to backslide at any given time. Such a time a trusted person would have never thought will manifest. Also, why would a person demand loyalty from another, when he cannot ultimately trust himself. How can you know someone, when they do not truly know themselves.
If loyalty is what is largely asked in a relationship, then there will be opportunities for violence, humiliation, intimidation, manipulation and exploitation. Since it allows room for a type of friendship based on selfish principles, a basis mostly carved by one party to keep things confidential, secrets which may break the law, conflict personal interest or threaten others. This is what loyalty is perceived as, were obedience should spring forth. However, it is unjustifiable to ask another to sacrifice morally correct propositions in a bid to acquire notable relationships. When people demand that a friend position their interests over ethical thoughtfulness, such a request prohibits and undermines the respect meant for a mutual or passionate attachment.
Friendship is Respect. A friend has the right to be treated with dignity. A friend may not be held in high esteem, but it is an ethical duty to treat a bosom friend, a confidant with regard, in spite of who they are, what they have achieved and where they are from. Even when they are unpleasant, it is important to respond or react with respect, high opinion. On the basis of civility, courtesy, decency, dignity, reliant, tolerance and acceptance, friendship is expected to last for centuries. Conducts which has the ability to pass alliances down to generations.
How do you intend on demanding loyalty, if an individual lacks the very source of friendship. Friendship is respecting each other, treating the other with consideration, without resort to intimidation, coercion or violence except in extraordinary and limited situations to defend, discipline, maintain order or achieve social justice. Accepting and tolerating individual differences and beliefs without preconception is very important. However, one can judge or punish the other mostly on character, abilities and conduct. Although, such punishments should be moderate and only to advance a better relationship in communication, social goals and purposes.
Loyalty is yet another word used between friends, but friendship surpasses loyalty. As there are other moral principles such as Integrity and Reliability for oneself which constitutes friendship, but people tend to look at them as unnecessary and the lack of these elements are what cripples strong and special long-term friendships, be it reciprocal or romantic. How can a person seek genuine friendship garnished with loyalty, when he or she lacks Teamwork, Fairness, Honesty, Truthfulness, Candour, Trustworthiness, Sincerity and Genuineness. These are ethical fundamentals of friendship, which are extremely necessary in building passionate and mutual relationships. Hence, friendship should not to a great degree be based on loyalty.
On a similar note, loyalty should be a choice and not a must, since everyone of us is programmed to an asking price. Let me ask this, “To what extent can you be loyal, when there is an extent in which you cannot control yourself.” You can measure credence on a certain parameter of your life now, but what about when disturbing and adverse situations comes crawling in. How then, can you expect undiluted allegiance from someone else when you do not know the extent of your own capabilities. What then happens when an individual, a friend finds himself in situations were belief and assurance for oneself cannot subdue a current situation, in other to be loyal as always to another. Does this mean he or she is no longer a dependable or trustworthy friend?, because of one or two mistakes, after many longs years of sacrifices.
Friendship is not Loyalty. Loyalty is too tricky to be perceived as Friendship.
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