A young lady or grown woman is expected to talk about “sex” when it is appropriate and she is allowed to decide what type of relationship she prefers with the opposite sex. Just incase no one told her, girls you have the right to walk away from a situation which is mostly centred around sexual intercourse, if you certainly do not want to participate. You are not expected to count your loses at every given time, because you desperately need something or a favour. If you do not want to partake in it, say it loud and clear.

A girl is permitted to say a resistant “NO” if she stands by taking a distance and up to her to say an agreeable “YES”, if she finds him worthy. She is allowed to willingly participate in romance and sexual activities and I think men must give in to her conclusions. I know females have hypnotizing powers, but this does not excuse mannerless behaviours from boys.

STOP imposing the idea that it must lead to sex.

STOP the habit of not helping her unless she drops her panties.

This is barbaric and soul-crushing. Instead of thinking of her as the captured, well stewed chicken on your jollof rice for dinner, look for ways you two can bring value to situations and conditions. Please preach this to your friends as well.

“Men, you are not a compulsory sex orchestrator and girls, you are not merely a sexual provider.” X pj

Men, especially a black man, meets a woman after a couple of days and he starts to touch her in sensitive areas. Next thing you know, he invites her to his bedroom or slaughter-house before even enquiring where she is from, what she does, if she is in a relationship or married. There he goes, rough-handling her at the slightest opportunity without notice, because he merely thinks that is what she is there for – “some good time”. Some go as far as harassing or sexually assaulting her when she refuses to give into his advances. However, there are a few Nigerian men who do not practise or indulge in this shameful act of wanting to eat their cake and still have it unsliced in the oven. Such men of integrity should be treated with respect as they are not many in our society today. Why do other men tend to make all men look bad! Anyway lets move on.

Seeing that most girls are timid about the whole “sex talk”, men use this as an advantage to put her in a tight corner of molestation. Young women must understand that most advances from men are on a “try your luck” basis, but must they always try their luck at the earliest and slightest?. Regardless of the value in which her beauty, education, intelligence and riches secures, her most priced possession is in-between her legs. Be it a dependent girl or an older independent woman, she alone should have the choice to keep her legs closed or leave it open. Just as a man is not willing to give her all his life earnings and possessions, he should not forcefully or persistently ask for her life’s worth.

There is nothing wrong with that fact that most ladies just want to be friends. A man should be thankful when a woman sees him as a good friend, because she know’s the value of friendship more than inappropriate sex. Hence, this girl knows that she stands a higher chance of losing him if they are unable to find a balance. What am I saying here?.

“I am plainly stating that if what you are professing is clearly not what she wants, men should oblige to her request and dismiss any invitation from her, if he sees her more than a casual friend.” X pj

The ability to be confident enough, to decide, balls-down to her upbringing. For this reason, parents have that talk with your little girls. Teach them how to confront “the sex topic” whenever it arises and how to approach sexual advances. Educate her enough to ask the clever why’s, questioning every bit of “the reasons to freely give her life’s worth” and guide her on suitable responses . Also, how to politely turn down advances when it is not soothing. Besides, let her know that when he refuses to comport himself, there is absolutely nothing wrong in giving a stern warning or leaving the premises unannounced. She has to be trained to make up her mind, clearly deciding who comes in or stays out.

Therefore, it is your duty as a parent to make sure she is very much aware of welcomed and unwelcome gestures with the aim of gaining sexual favours. So that she is not easily frightened by it or bullied into surrendering.

X pj