“A man truly knows his crown is unshakable and therefore demands his spoils. Yet, a lot of women, including his wife still find it very difficult to accept this marvel that is beyond her reasoning.” X pj
Love and Marriage is a situation which involves exposure to either danger or safety and should not be perceived to be the perfect decision at any instance. Marriage considerations cannot always be right, for the reason that it is taken to witness an outcome due to its unpredictable nature. An uncertainty which either ends if it is not worthwhile or matures if it is progressive. Marriage being a stage, is an accession which is not supposed to alter a man’s behavioural patterns. Therefore, a conjugal bond it is not expected to change his approach to benefit his partner, but to make him to a certain degree more responsible and sensitive towards his new or existing family.
“What alters an adult male’s decision is his love for someone who eventually allows him to see the love he has for himself. A just enough reason to strive for himself and at the same time making sacrifices for that person. However not necessarily his wife, family, partner or any other person he has ties to!” X pj
In as much as he tries to control parts of his emotional development, men just as women are not in control of specific behaviours aroused by intense feelings. While trying to paint a perfect relationship picture to the best of his abilities, he takes many risks at different stages of his succession. And if or when she no longer epitomizes the envisioned picture in his future, he pulls out of the risk to try another uncertainty. Either the lady was not worth the stress or she was a replica of who she knew he wanted. Therefore, for the reason that he is typically making love choices in the course of his life, he literally owes her nothing unless he decides to and most times such favourable decisions depends on the lady in question.
“To be honest, showing love and affection in a marriage or relationship is a choice which has to be earned by both parties. Therefore, insisted and peremptory request should not be forced out of him, since it is not owed.” X pj
He decides to be indebted to a woman, not because of their children or the extent of the relationship, but because of what he thinks is obligatory to him, either by legal, moral or other standards. You see, men are the typical example of an adult-baby who needs breast milk everyday! I bet you, the male child will not survive if deprived of his inheritance. Why is this so? he knows it is his birthright. Therefore, it must be given to him in time, coupled with some light strokes on the head every minute if it were possible. To him, pampering is a right and a must, regardless of when he messes the entire bedroom wall with his poo.
In a world such as our own, were financial gains are mostly tied to love and respect, men try their hardest, mostly through deception to acquire what has now been labeled with material gains. A not so befitting behaviour from married men which single women cannot totally rule out, since members of the gentle sex are insensitive with regards to the outrageous list of qualities a man should possess.
It is safe to say that women are not the only unhappy spouse in marriages. In fact, the men the are most heartbroken of the pair. Why it appears as though men are unsympathetic is in view of the fact that a large number of them have a way of concealing their emotional state and reaction, as opposed to the raging feeling expressed by a scorned wife. So why then do men play the insecure-nonchalant card?. A wife tries her hardest to assure him of her love and loyalty, yet his ego and power to provide for her is what manipulates his mind into thinking he owes her no apology and a reason to dismiss her preferred choice of action. This is one of the personal reasons why women like to play the victim card, despite forgetting what had initially transpired between them.
“Due to loss of identity and misrepresentation, most women fail to bargain properly before diving into relationships and marriages.” X pj
A man gives her a proposal which she accepts for whatever selfish or altruistic reason best known to her at that moment. Then, after some years she decides to change the standards of cohabiting and when he refuses to accept the new contract she cries wolf! A red flag with a bold “VICTIM” is raised over and over again as though a device without a motor. If his wife could accommodate the disagreements and differentiations at the beginning of the relationship, she should be able to stomach it up to a considerable amount of time.
Also, why does his wife think he is ready to relinquish his kingly inheritance all because he is in love with or married to a woman who thinks she is a king? I am sorry to say this, the beauty, education, achievements and stardom will not and cannot force him to do otherwise in an unhappy marriage. Even if he acts dethroned now, watch him when he wears his crown again with an authoritative staff in hand. I am totally referring to when he gets his mojo back, thus placing his feet firm on the ground.
No one goes into a bargain intending to fail and it is this new unsupported arrangements that brings a lion share of failed marriages. When these lack of agreement lead to an end in the relationship, both individuals should walk away with an umbrella above their captain’s hats without any further embarrassment. Since it was impossible for the two captains to successfully sail the boat at the same pace during crucial times, they must take responsibility for failure to remain an item under an oath.
The husband must take blame for failing to come clean from the onset and his wife must be accountable for not openly playing her chips to a certain degree of understanding. It would have been a different scenario if proper communication was passed between the Chief and Assistant Captain. Hence, specifying the degree of authority and limitation each position upholds.
““Nowadays, saying “Till death do us part!” are just as the words “I love you!”. When he stops loving, the oath is no longer considered valid.”” X pj.
Not every man wants to be or stay married and not every lady intends on becoming a wife to either a single or married man. Just as he mostly wants to enjoy a night out or a few weeks of pleasure, could is the same dish she is most likely offering as well. Crawling up another woman’s bed for some good-time does not make him stupid or less of a man. He could be lost but not useless. What allowed him to pursue such a risky and daring journey is still what makes him who he is; a man in search, and if wives could treat infidelity with ignorance and wisdom, there will be less disagreements between married couples.
Similarly, dating a married man most of the time are yardsticks to keep a woman’s emotions in check, in a stable mood. Not necessary a deed full of bad intentions, it is therefore an intentional act which breeds great inconvenience overtime. Nevertheless, if it happens that he is already in a bit of a not so good place with his wife and she happens to be the lady that resonates in his dreams, then why not! He can be considered to take up some more time in her life and when fit, she can accept his ring until they part ways or grow old together.
Wise men say that the most precious things are hidden in dirt and camouflaged with impurities, but when it is uncovered, the man who goes to great lengths to unveil such a treasure will know her value regardless of what the world thinks.
In all, whatever the case might be in his journey of self-realisation, whether he is taking giant steps towards love or concrete strides towards destruction, he only would know what is best for his MAN, if he truly loves himself.